Scared but try to remain faithful!

Ok, it's been awhile since I have ranted and I needed to get some time in.
So, the big news is Jackie finally gets to stay home.  This is probably the stressed I have been since Ethan's surgery.  It's not that she wanted to and we just decided, but the fact that she had to.  No day care will still take Ethan even though he is doing much, much better and we could not ask my parents to place their life on hold for an additional year as they have already done this for the past 7 months.  Oh man, is it gonna be tight.  What do we cut, how will we do this? 

We have prayed, discussed, argued, screamed, prayed some more, written down plans, etc....over and over again. 

We were literally days away from moving out of state and take a chance, but it fell through.  What was next, I don't know. After lots of prayer, we decided to take this leap of faith and believe that things will be ok. 

I worry, ALL the time.  Gone over scenarios, done mock monthly statements and wow, just raised my chance for a heart attack. 

I have seen so many, "so happy for you's", and it stresses me out.  Yes, I am happy for my wife, but no I am not enthusiastic about this situation.  Now it's time to get a second part time job.

It's hard...why does life have to be so complicated.  Sometimes, I just want to sit and be with Nick.  Enjoy th most simple things life and have this aura of innocence and put on my pair of rainbow colored glasses....

Will Ethan benefit from this...ABSOLUTELY!  And, this may be for only 1 to 2 years and Ethan will be in PPCD.

LOVE.FAITH.PRAYER.HOPE.LOVE.FAITH.PRAYER.HOPE.LOVE.FAITH.PRAYER.HOPE.LOVE


Some words were said to us recently, by all means of innocence, but hurt to the core about what we are going through and my children.  Nobody, and yes, I mean noboday, understands what life is like and how to deal with children with disabilities unless you live it.

There are a handfull of things that we have been blessed with this summer.  Ethan started walking, we had a semi-functional family vacation, and are having the msot wonderful summer serving students in HEROES.  This may just be me, but everybody wouldbe a much better person after serving a day or two with students in HEROES.  It is tiring, exhausting, hot, but absolutely the most amazing thing to do.

So, with the grace and mercy given to us, we know weill get through this.  No matter what happens, we will always try to remain faithful!